Ways to break the Anxiety Cycle
I have always wanted to find a way to break the loop of thoughts that my brain tends to go on when I’m upset, outraged or anxious. I imagine my brain all puffed up and angry, arms akimbo. Quite like the fish vendor outraged when a customer tries to drive down the price really low. And then, these questions will explode in a staccato burst: How can ‘they’? How dare ‘they’? What do ‘they’ think of themselves?
My brain builds up the ‘opponent: they’ as this giant Goliath that it enjoys aiming multiple slingshots at. These slingshots are counter arguments which never occur to it in real time. :P And what a high is the cycle of rebuttals and counter arguments! In my imagination, my brain sharpens its rapier wit against an opponent who’s conveniently silenced by virtue of their non-existence in my brain space. :P No wonder the brain refuses to get off the thought loop! It’s having fun.
But I was aware that though the thought cycle gave me a high, it didn’t really achieve much. In real-time my ‘opponents’ are hardly struck dumb by my barbs and repartee. Plus, it does zilch to calm down my anxiety or outrage. On the contrary, it’s busy stoking it to volcanic stress levels. So, I looked around for tools to deal with this.
Time doesn’t have magical, healing properties, at least to impatient me who wants instant gratification. (Though I’ve learnt better since then. :P) Different tools work at different times but usually at least one of them works. So here goes:
Box / Square Breathing
We also know this as the pranayama practice of breath control in yoga. You breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, breathe out for four counts and hold for four counts, and repeat. You can set a timer for 5 minutes to do this on loop.
Why is it called box or square breathing? Because it helps to imagine a box with your breath travelling along its sides. Your inhalation goes up the left side of the box, holding steady on the top horizontal side, moving from left to right. Then it comes down through your exhalation on the right side of the box. Holding steady as it travels from right to left on the bottom side. You can switch around the sides as you like.
Another one I learnt for high anxiety periods was 3 smooth inhalations, each deeper than the last and one really slow exhalation. Again practiced till I can centre myself. I do need to be mindful about hyperventilating when upset and slow down.
Eckhart Tolle’s Energy Fields
This one was a recommendation when my anxiety and thought cycles were at their height at the beginning of the pandemic in 2020. I watched this video by Eckhart Tolle. He explains how worries and anxieties about the future are thoughts that serve no purpose. When the time comes, we will deal with things. It makes no sense to suffer by imagining what ifs.
Then he goes on to demonstrate a simple exercise that has helped me to switch off from the thought cycle by simply closing my eyes and focussing on the energy in my hands. Now, whether the energy is real or imaginary, the purpose is to take the mind’s attention off the cycle which it does.
Another one much talked about is: focusing on the senses. Five things you see, hear, feel. Then 4 things and so on till you’re down to 1. All of this is to interrupt the outrage cycle the brain goes on. Of course, one does has to shut the door on thoughts with deliberation, otherwise this is of no use.
Laughter via funny videos
After becoming aware of my thought cycles, I am now more alert to when they begin. So, I immediately stop the thought cycle by distracting it. I watch funny videos, usually on YouTube since they are just right there and handy. My preference is for funny videos of toddlers or those of young animals. You can choose what makes you laugh.
It takes a minute, because the thought cycle is not willing to just let me go. But by the end of 5-10 minutes my laughter has neatly distracted me from the worry. I calm down enough to think of practical solutions.
Calm down the hollering baby
So this one I figured out for myself and it works for me. Whenever my brain goes on a rampage about all the injustices done to it, the unfairness and worry, I imagine my brain as a baby bawling its head off. You know that pretend, angry howling because the baby didn’t get what it wants and wants it right now? Yup, instant gratification.
I imagine myself holding that baby, patting its back and calming it down, the way we usually do with crying babies. I pat and comfort it till the baby has calmed down and because it’s taken the form of a baby the brain’s outrage. This means that my stress becomes much smaller than me and therefore far more handleable.
Read Anxiety as Excitement
I am one of those who gets really anxious when trying something new and I have the super power to make myself absolutely miserable: rumbling tummy, fast heart beat and all. So, a thought occurred to me. What if I take these symptoms and tell myself that they are caused by excitement and not anxiety? I tried it and to my surprise, it worked!
Funnily, a few days later, I read about the same tactic in the book Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain. The book is by Lisa Feldman Barrett who works in the fields of cognitive neuroscience and psychology. It is a fascinating book of which this tactic is but a part.
The professor cites several studies to tell us that that the brain is an extremely flexible organ. It behaves the way you teach it to behave or in this case teach it to interpret data. The book also emphasizes that the power to change the way you thinks rests with you, only if you choose to use it, no matter your age or circumstances.
Acceptance and Transience of the Present
Once I became more mindful and started working on my worries, I have learnt the simplest and deepest form of relaxation. Acceptance. We tend to prefer to be happy, to love and laugh. But we push away uncomfortable emotions. Strangely, it took grief to teach me how to deal with this. To accept what I feel without thinking about what made me feel that way, or adding more thoughts to build on it.
To remember that once accepted, feelings, thoughts are all transient. They’re passing and soon fade. Resistance to them creates friction. So I try to embrace what I feel for a few minutes and then distract myself with chores, tasks, entertaining or anything that fills my well. This could be something ridiculous I watch or read, a laughter-filled chat with someone I’m comfortable with or doing something I love and enjoy.
So, these are my tools but I am always on the lookout for more. If you know of practical tactics that deal with anxiety, thought cycles and stress, do share.
*Please Note: Diagnosed anxiety disorders require help from a therapist and sometimes medication to deal with them. Ymmv
My blogs and memes are free to read. If you enjoy what I do and would like to support me, Pay What You Can :)
Comments